Booyyyyy, am I a daddy’s girl!!! I love my father so much. Even in his imperfections, I still revered my father.

My dad has had the constitution to overcome drug addiction. When the doctors later told him that his lungs could not sustain him if he continued to smoke…bam!!! He stopped smoking cigarettes, just like that.

Over the past 3 years, he has had some great health challenges.

So, this is where his present problem started. Many years ago, he stepped on a nail and because he has diabetes, he later needed to have that toe amputated. However, the infection spread through his foot causing him to spend all of 2014 in a Rehabilitation Facility where they were responsible for giving him physical therapy and to care for his foot. However, under their care, or lack thereof, he went from needing to amputate his left foot, to considering that both feet needed to be amputated as the infection had spread from one to the other.

But through GOD’s mercy, and the great doctors at Mt. Sinai hospital, he never needed to have that amputation. He can, actually, walk….albeit, not without assistance of a walker, but, still he can walk. But that will come as his strength improves.

In August, I made an emergency trip back home to NYC because, he had taken such a turn for the worst that we didn’t know if he was going to pull through. I came in and spent all my time with him at the hospital, praying and keeping vigil. He was responding to me, where the nurses and other family members couldn’t get him to eat or take his medicine. But, as I would say, “Come on Daddy, you have to eat something so that you can get strong again, for me..”. He would look at me with so much love in his eyes and he would open his mouth like a dutiful child and eat. This is my daddy and a testament of the love we have for one another.

My dad has always been my special guy. Back in ’99, he had both hips replaced and he was walking 3 days later. My dad is a TROOPER!!! My love…my hero….my SUPERMAN.

But, I guess as Superman has his Kryptonite…my dad, too, has his Kryptonite….Bacardi.

He used to say that he drank because he was bored….but, that is no longer the case.

He used to say that he could stop any time he wants….but, that is no longer the case.

He was told that he has early onset of sclerosis, so, of course, he will now stop drinking…no, this is not the case, either. Over the past couple of months, I’ve received numerous calls from my mother telling me that he is back in the hospital because he fell, or his hip came out. I would talk to him and plead with him by telling him that I don’t want to lose him.

“Daddy you mean so much to me, and for so many years we were separated, but now you have me and my brother and sister, and our beautifully talented children. Please don’t throw it all away for a bottle. I will go with you to meetings. I will do what it takes, but please, don’t choose to die a long and painful death. When you can choose life. I need you, Daddy. I need you to want to live, not for me but for you. You have overcome so much, please, Daddy, choose life.

His response was that he chooses to drink.

So, with that being said, I know that I’ve done all I can do. Nobody wants to go through life after loosing a loved one wondering what or if there were anything more they could have done to help. I have been freed from that.

So, I, choose life. I choose me. I choose to love my father, and will continue to love him, but I will accept him and his choice. Because that is exactly what it is..his choice.

I love you, Daddy, and I pray that God will have mercy upon you.


About Candace Frazer

Candace Frazer is a Certified Personal Life Coach and a Motivational Speaker. She is presently attending the Ohio Christian University, pursuing a second Master's degree in Ministry with a concentration in Pastoral Care and Counselling. She graduated from the College of New Rochelle, New Rochelle, NY, with a Dual Master's Degree in Special/General Education, and a Minor in Gifted Education. She taught Adult Education at Hostos Community College, Bronx, NY. Presently, she is an Associate Minister at Pleasant Hill Church in Roswell, GA, flourishing in the Word of GOD and Surrendering to His will for her life.

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