Who are you awaiting to Affirm You?

As you’re getting ready for your day, you look in the mirror, who are you thinking about?

When you lather yourself with that sweet smelling fragrance, who are you hoping will get a whiff?

Wow!! You’ve lost some weight, did she notice that you look different in that blazer?

Why are you always awaiting someone else’s validation? You MUST be able to look in the mirror and say, “Looking Good, my Sister!!” or “The gym is paying off!!” Instead, you’re waiting for him to tell you that you are beautiful in that dress. You should never ever, again, have to ask anyone how you look or whether you look a certain way in an outfit.

I remember going to my husband’s graduation wearing this orange dress. I knew it didn’t flatter me, especially as it hadn’t been long since giving birth. But, I allowed my mother and friend to tell me that I looked great in it. No one, not even him, was honest with me, but the kicker is that I knew better. There was this still small voice which told me to change, but I didn’t listen to it because they told me I looked fine. Til this day, I am not able to look at those pictures without cringing. Now, I recognize that they didn’t say anything because they loved me, but that’s not what I needed. I needed their undying loyalty and love to show up in the form of honesty.

Question: If your best friend comes to you and asks you how he/she looks in something. Will you lie to them, or be totally honest? As much as it is hard to hear the truth, trust me in the situation with the orange dress, it would have been appreciated.  Now, of course, there are those of you who may decide to do what you want anyway, but when looking back on it, you won’t have any body to blame but yourself.

We must learn to be more authentic to our own beings. When we can be honest with ourselves, then we will never ever need any man/woman to validate us. According to one of my favorite writer’s Brenѐ Brown: Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Again, I ask you, “Who Are You Awaiting to Affirm You?” Is it your husband or your wife? Your parents? Your boyfriend/girlfriend? Would getting a compliment be nice to hear, SURE!, it would be great, but you don’t need it. How do you see yourself?

You need to be able to get dressed and look in the mirror saying to yourself, “Dang, you look GREAAATTTT!!” You MUST start by affirming yourself?  I know this will take time and practice, but you can start out by using positive affirmations.






Welcome to the Pathway to Spiritual Rebirth, you are, indeed, WORTHY!!!


About Candace Frazer

Candace Frazer is a Certified Personal Life Coach and a Motivational Speaker. She is presently attending the Ohio Christian University, pursuing a second Master's degree in Ministry with a concentration in Pastoral Care and Counselling. She graduated from the College of New Rochelle, New Rochelle, NY, with a Dual Master's Degree in Special/General Education, and a Minor in Gifted Education. She taught Adult Education at Hostos Community College, Bronx, NY. Presently, she is an Associate Minister at Pleasant Hill Church in Roswell, GA, flourishing in the Word of GOD and Surrendering to His will for her life.

2 thoughts on “Who are you awaiting to Affirm You?

  1. On my Pathway to Spiritual Rebirth, I’ve had to surrender myself to GOD and His perfect will for my life. I Surrendered!!! So, rather than looking to my husband for affirmation, I now only look to the LORD my GOD. I love my husband and choose to be pleasing to him because I love him, but it is what honors the LORD.

    Liked by 1 person

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